Young Marriage

When I met my husband, I was 19, he was 20. I was going to be starting my Junior Year of college, I thought that no one should get married until they have graduated college and started their careers, I was so anxious to start my career that I had worked hard enough to be able to graduate a year earlier than most. As a Freshman/Sophomore (same year), I had joined a Sorority on campus, joined multiple clubs and was anxious to "find myself." I thought a career and being successful were crucial to being happy. I wanted to make money and be self sufficient and travel the world without a "ball and chain" holding me back. BOY WAS I WRONG!

I met my husband a month before my Junior year started. I had been taking two summer courses and an internship. Then I met him. I don't know if I believe in love at first sight but I can tell you that I knew I was supposed to meet him that day. From the day we met we both felt a connection to each other, we weren't sure what that connection was yet. Now I'm not saying our relationship was perfect from day one. We have had many ups and many downs, we unintentionally hurt each other, but we always missed each other so we came back. We believe that God wanted our relationship to be that way so we could learn more about each other and realize how much we would need that other person to be truly happy.

My husband was 21 and I was 21 when we got married. Many will say that is too young and we don't know what we want out of life yet and we should have waited. Many people associate 20's with immaturity. Why is that? My parents were married the same age I was, my grandparents were even younger. Why is our generation depicted as too immature for our age? What is so different about our generation from previous generations? Many people believe that there is a specific order you must live your life to be successful.

1. Graduate College

2. Build up Career

3. Get Married

4. Have Children

I am currently in my last semester of college, I am graduating at the exact same time I would have if I hadn't met my husband and hadn't gotten married. I have job opportunities lined up for me when I do graduate. My professional life has not been altered because of my decision to get married before graduation. In fact I am sure that I would not have been able to do it with out my husband there beside me encouraging me and helping me. My husband has different interests than I do, he is developing new interests everyday. Our interests are not what defines us. I have changed in so many ways since I have met my husband, but we grow and learn together. My husband has changed his major 5 times since I have met him. That doesn't mean he isn't the same person I fell in love with. We "found ourselves" when we found each other. Our interests and where life takes us from here is a journey that we will be taking together. If my husband wants to run off and join the circus, I will not divorce him, I will be a good wife and be understanding and do everything in my ability to make that dream possible for him. If he wants to work for a big corporation working 80 hours a week, I will be understanding just like he will strive to balance work and home life.

Young marriage has such a negative reputation, because our generation is known for being selfish and childish, but it is not just young people who do not know the true meaning of marriage. I have known those in their 30s and 40s getting married for the fourth or fifth time because they see marriage as a convenience. Just something to do to have more money or someone to help with the kids. Our culture has somehow lost the meaning of marriage therefore young people and looked upon negatively if they decide to get married before they "find themselves." God gave marriage as a gift, someone to share you life with. Marriage is not always an easy road to travel on, but divorce should not be an option. It isn't just those in their 20's that don't understand this. It is those who have lost sight of God and the meaning of unconditional love.

I used to be one that thought 20's was too young. But once you find the one that God made for you, there is no point in waiting. What are you waiting for? The night sky to light up with the words "you are now mature enough to get married"? Well that's not very realistic. If you are in love, you have been dating or have known each other for a long enough period to really know one another, and you truly understand that marriage is a life long commitment to that one person. THEN GET MARRIED if that is what you want. Life happens all to quickly and if you wait around until you are deemed old enough by society then you will lose out on all those months or years you could have been happily married and started a family. If you are unsure or don't think you are ready for marriage then there is no pressure to get married.

It is your life and if you wait around for societies approval on everything then you will be waiting for a long time to start your life. If you are "young" and happily married then good for you! Obviously you are doing something right in your marriage and life that society should look up to not down on.